by jmgreene67 in
Share Your Story
(
Down Syndrome).
It's so wonderful to see everyone posting their stories and sharing their family experiences. It's a good feeling to be part of a community, and not feeling alone.
As I think I said before, we found out about Kiki's diagnosis when I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant. Like many of the parents here, at first I knew absolutely nothing about Down Syndrome. I went out on the 'Net to find out as much as I could.
I found forums for parents of children with Downs but for some reason I had a hard time connecting with them. I was depressed, feeling sorry for myself, feeling overwhelmed by not just the new-mother jitters but the new-mother-of-a-child-with-special-needs jitters. I was afraid for my child's future. I kept having these dark thoughts that I was ashamed of, and I desperately wanted to feel like I wasn't alone in that, that I wasn't aberrant. I wanted to connect with people in a dark place like me.
A year later, I can offer this to any expectant parents in the same position: It gets so much better. What you're feeling will pass; it will come back in degrees, but it be beat back by the reality of your child, who will charm you more than you can ever imagine. You will fall in love with your baby, and you will wonder why you ever worried so much.
It's not all sun and roses; reality never is, regardless if your child has a diagnosis or not. These are little humans, with their own sets of needs, wants, and they develop minds of their own, and you will be frustrated. It is all worth it.
A few months ago, a friend asked me, "If you could take away Kiki's diagnosis, would you?"
If she had asked me when I was still pregnant, I would have answered Yes, emphatically and without hesitation. If she had asked me when Kiki was only a newborn or a month or two old, I would still have answered Yes.
But at the time, Kiki was already seven months old. She was interactive; she was curious; she was giggling; she had a smile that would melt your heart; she was engaging, active, bubbly and so happy and such an easy baby. In other words, she'd already developed a personality; she had become Kiki; she was every inch, every cell, and every chromosome our daughter, and there wasn't a thing I would change about her.
Not even her diagnosis. Not even that.
So to anyone out there afraid, nervous, overwhelmed: we've all been there. You are not alone. Talk to us, join us, share with us. It gets so much better; you just have to read a few of the stories here to learn that.
